A Hindi Blog by Gaurav Garg

🐢Tortoise and a Rabbit🐰wrote an entrance exam, 📝 🐢Tortoise got 80%, 🐰Rabbit got 81%. Both went for 🏦admission to an engineering college, Cut-off needed was 85%. 😱😨 😾Rabbit didn't get admission, but the Tortoise got admission. 🙀 How?🙊 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... ..... ... ... .. .... ..... ..... ..... ... ... 😦U remember when we were in the 😥1st standard, the tortoise won a race. 😂Sports quota ... 5% marks extra 😜😃😈

मुर्गियों के फार्म में एक बार निरीक्षण के लिए इंस्पेक्टर आया,, इंस्पेक्टर :- तुम मुर्गियों को क्या खिलाते हो...? पहला :- बाजरा इंस्पेक्टर-: खराब खाना, इसे गिरफ्तार कर लो,, दूसरा :- चावल इंस्पेक्टर: गलत खाना इसे भी गिरफ्तार कर लो,, अब संता की बार आई, वह बहुत डर गया था। इंस्पेक्टर संता से, "तुम मुर्गियों को क्या खिलाते हो" संता डरते-डरते बोला :- "साहब हम तो मुर्गियों को 5-5 रुपए दे देते हैं, जो तुम्हारी मर्जी है जाकर खा लो"😫😫😫😫😫😫

Equation1 Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy Donkey = eat + sleep + work Therefore: Human = Donkey + enjoy Therefore: Human-enjoy = Donkey In other words, A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works. Equation 2 Man = eat + sleep + earn money Donkey = eat + sleep Therefore: Man = Donkey + earn money Therefore: Man-earn money = Donkey In other words Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey Woman= eat + sleep + spend Donkey = eat + sleep Therefore: Woman = Donkey + spend Woman - spend = Donkey In other words, Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey To Conclude: From Equation 2 and Equation 3 Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey! And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey! So, We have: Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that li

Manager ne joke sunaya...sub employees hasne lage, except one.. Manager poocha usko.."tuje mera joke pasand nahi aaya???"... Employee: "sir mera doosre company me ho gaya..."

One day a tourist comes to the only hotel in a debt ridden town in Kenya. He lays a 100 dollar note on the table & goes to inspect the rooms. Hotel owner takes the note & rushes to pay his debt to the butcher. Butcher runs to pay the pig farmer. Pig farmer runs to pay the feed supplier. Supplier runs to pay the prostitute, who in these hard times gave her services on credit. Prostitute then runs to pay off her debt to the hotel owner for the rooms she rented for her clients. Hotel owner then lays the 100 dollar note back on the counter. The tourist comes down, takes his money & leaves as he did not like the rooms. No one earned anything. But that group of people is now without debt & looks to the future with a lot of optimism. And that is how the world is doing business today! Worth a read..!!!

This is ultimate😜😃 😍 Wife - Meri age 58 Saal hote hue bhi, Aapka ek Dost mere bahut taarif karta hai.. 😏 Pati - Usmanbhai hoga!! 😳 Wife - Aapne kaise Pahchana?? 😏 Pati - Wo scrap dealer hai 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Which is the most dangerous Alphabet Answer -- " W ". It is tension generator.. All the worries get initiated with ' w '. . Who Why What When Which Whom Where War  Wine Whisky Wealth Work Worries Woman & finally. . . Believe it or not ** WIFE ** and the most dangerous question coming from w (wife) . Woh kaun thi ? All The Major Things A Woman Needs In Her LifeTime Start With The Letter 'M'. Ⓜ Ⓜ Man. Ⓜ Money. Ⓜ Make-Up. Ⓜ Motor Car. Ⓜ Movies. Ⓜ Masti. Ⓜ Mall. Last But Not The Least. And The 2 Most Imp. .... .... ⓂMaid &  ⓂMaaikewaale.   Dedicated to all Wives by their dear Husbands: A new version of the famous lines from "SILSILA": "Main aur Meri Tanhaai aksar yeh Baate karte hain, Tum hoti to aisa hota, Tum hoti to waisa hota, AUR TUM na hoti to PAISA hota."  Dont laugh alone please pass it on....

A beautiful  looking girl was standing outside a Chemist shop  She was definitely waiting for the crowd to disperse whilst the shop owner spotted her waiting and got suspicious. 😮 After 20 minutes there was no customer in the shop and she was all alone, then she entered and walked straight to the counter... She made sign language to a salesman and called him near her The shop owner further got alert and suspicious by now. He was eager to see her requirement. 😎💭 She sneaked her hand in a purse and pulled out a hand written paper directing it to the salesman and whispered... . . . . . . . "Bro, I am soon getting married to a doctor, this is his first letter to me can you please read it out?" 

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting a complicated surgery and he insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son-in-law. 'Yes, Dad, what is it?' 'Don't be nervous son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well if something happens to me your mother in law is going to come and live with you.' The surgery was a great success.. 

    My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.     I was a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. It was a so-so job.     I worked in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.     I was a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.     I tried to be a chef. I thought it would add a little spice to my life,but I just didn't have the thyme.     I was a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.     I was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.     I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.     I worked in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.     I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.     I always wanted to be a witch, so I tried that for a spell.   

AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date. ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law. UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement. QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors. TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited. TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPERTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors. INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors. STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk. TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut. APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job. A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused. NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college. EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together. SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life. CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared. METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker. DEMONSTRATES QUALIT

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations (1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and has started to dig." (2) "His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of morbid curiosity." (3) "I would not allow this employee to breed." (4) "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'." (5) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." (6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet." (7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle." (8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy." (9) "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." (10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot." (11) "This employee should go far..

Short but sweet.... Wife  : I have changed my mind. Husband : Does the new one work...?😝

New born baby immediately after being born asks the nurse ....... "breakfast mein kya hai ?" Nurse says ...... "Aloo parantha and Chhole Bhature. " Baby: Wahe Guru.. Phir ludhiana

Super Insults: ★★★★★★★★ 1) A letter from a teacher to a parent: - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Parent, Kumar doesn't smell nice in class. Please try to bathe him. Parent's answer: Dear Teacher, Kumar is not a rose, Dont smell him,Teach him...... 2) Mother to Son: Who is Tippu Sultan ? Son : Don't know 😏 Mother : Sometime give attention to study also 👀 Son to Mother : Do you know Chinky Aunty ? Mother : Don't know Son: Sometimes give attention to Dad also 3)   A cute excuse: Teacher-Y r u late? Student-Mom & dad were fighting. Teacher-so what makes U late if dey were fighting? Student-one shoe was in mom's hand and one in dad's..hand 4) Girl: wat's d price of galaxy grand?? Salesman: Rs.18,000/- Girl: OMG Girl: and iphone?? . . Salesman: OMG + OMG + OMG Girl: 😨😠😡😌 Salesman: ..😜😜😜😜😜 5) Wife : I hate that beggar. Husband : Why ? Wife : Rascal, yesterday I gave him food today he gatve me a bo

Technical Difference: What is the difference between WELDING and WEDDING? In WELDING, there are sparks first and bonding forever, whereas in WEDDING, there is bonding first and sparks forever.

संता ने एक लड़की को प्रपोज़ किया तो लड़की और उसके घरवालो ने उसे को खूब पीटा। चप्पल से पीटा; लाठी से पीटा; गंदी नाली मे डाला और बहुत घसीट-घसीट के पीटा। . . . . . . मार खाने के बाद संता सिंह उठा और कपड़े झाड़ते हुए बोला, "तो फिर मैं इंकार समझूं"?? 😋😋

English:The sooner the better... Hindi: Jaldi ka kaam shaitaan ka hota hai... English: Think of the devil, and the devil is here... Hindi: Badi lambi umar hai tumhari, abhi tumhe hi yaad kar rahe the... English: Don't wait, fight for your rights... Hindi: Sabr ka fal meetha hota hai... English: you silly cow! Hindi: gaaye humari mata hai... and the most striking of all, English: As wise as an owl... Hindi: Ullu ka Pattha.. 😀