A Hindi Blog by Gaurav Garg

एक दिन ख़ुदा ने मुझसे कहा:- "मत कर इन्तज़ार इस जन्म में उसका, मिलना मुश्किल है..." मैंने भी कह दिया:- "लेने दे मज़ा इन्तज़ार का, अगले जन्म में तो मुमकिन है..." फिर ख़ुदा ने कहा:- "मत कर इतना प्यार, बहुत पछतायेगा..." मुस्कुरा ☺ के मैंने कहा:- "देखते हैं तू कितना मुझे और तड़पायेगा..." फिर ख़ुदा ने मुझसे कहा:- "भूल जा उसे, चल तुझे जन्नत की अप्सरा से मिलाता हूँ..." मैंने कहा:- "आ नीचे, देख मेरे प्यार का मुस्कुराता चेहरा, तुझे जन्नत की अप्सरा भुलाता हूँ..." ग़ुस्से में ख़ुदा ने कहा:- "मत भूल अपनी औक़ात, तू तो एक इन्सान है..." हंस कर मैंने कहा:- "तो मिला दे मुझे मेरे प्यार से और साबित कर दे कि तू ही भगवान है..." फिर ख़ुदा ने मेरी शादी ही करवा दी... सारा भूत उतर गया, सारी शायरी ही भुला दी...!!!

Too good to  resist Sir please understand, to buy an anti depression pill you need a proper prescription... Simply showing  marriage certificate and wife's picture is not enough.

एक नौजवान ने एक बुजुर्ग से पूछा,'बाबा, जब एक दिन दुनिया से जाना है तो फिर लोग पैसे के पीछे क्यों भागते हैं?''जब जमीन जायदाद जेवर यहीं रह जाते हैं तो लोग इनको अपनी जिंदगी क्यों बनाते हैं?''जब रिश्ते निभाने की बारी आती है तो दोस्त ही दुश्मनी क्यों निभाते हैं?'बुजुर्ग ने गौर से तीनों सवाल सुने। फिर उसने माचिस की डिब्बी से तीन तीलियां निकालीं।दो तीलियां उसने फेंक दीं और एक तीली को आधा तोड़कर उसका ऊपर वाला भाग फेंक दिया।उसके बाद नीचे वाले भाग को नुकीला बनाकर अपना दांत कुरेदते हुए बोला,.......... . . . . . . . 'मोय ना पतो'😏😏

There was a C.A., who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife... "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart. He died soon. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there, dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the obedient wife said:- "Wait just a moment!' She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. Then her friend said:- "Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied:- "Listen, I

1. Sign on a railway station at Patna : (Aana free, jaana free, pakde gaye to khaana free). 2. Sign on a famous beauty parlor in Mumbai : (Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother). 3. Sign on a bulletin board : (Success is relative, More the success, More the relatives). 4. Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Mumbai : (We need your heads to run our business). 5. A traffic slogan : (Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they will never be old). 6. THE BEST ONE BY INDIAN ARMED FORCES : (It's God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations. It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them.

A coffin maker was on his way to deliver one of his coffins one night when his car broke down. Trying not to be late, he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination. Some policemen saw him and wanted to make some easy money off him (bribe) so they challenged him "Hey, what are you carrying and where are you going"? The man replied (You will love the answer) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "I did not like where I was buried so I am relocating" . . . . . . . . The policemen Fainted..!

हिंदी के अध्यापक मिश्रा जी सायकल की दुकान पे हवा डलाने पहुँचे???? मिश्रा जी~ लो भाई!!! अगले चके में हवा डाल दो. थोड़ी कम है??? दुकानदार~ मास्साब!!! आप तो हिंदी के टीचर हो जरा शुद्ध हिंदी में बताओ तो जाने के आप हमारे बच्चों को कितना अच्छे से हिंदी पढ़ाते हो. मिश्राजी~ प्रथम तो ये,क़ि मुझे शिक्षक उदबोधित् कीजिये टीचर नहीं 😒😒 अब हे!!  कनस्तरनुमा लौह~गुमठि में विराजमान द्विचक्र~वाहिनी सुधारक, मेरी द्विचक्र~वाहिनी के अग्रिम चक्र से कुछ वायु निगमन कर गयी है, कृप्या अपने वायु~चूषण यंत्र से अग्रिम चक्र में थोड़ी वायु प्रविष्ट करने की कृपा करें, ताकि मैं नियत समय पर पहुँच कर, आप जैसे मूढ़मति पिता के ज्ञानरिक्त मस्तिष्क लिये बैठे पुत्रों के मस्तिष्क में ज्ञान की प्रविष्टि करने की अपनी दैनिक क्रिया को पूर्ण कर सकूँ??? ?????????? समझे!!!!! दुकानदार बेहोश!!!!!........../// Handmate POR 052

भरी अदालत के मुकदमा जीतने के बाद जज साहब ने बुजुर्ग को बधाई देते हुए कहा :- बाबा आप केस जीत गए । बुजुर्ग किसान ने कहा :- राम तनै . . इतनी तरक्की दे के तू "दरोगा" बण जाए । वकील बोले, "रे ताऊ "जज" तो "दरोगा" तै बहुत बड़ा होए हैं। बुजुर्ग बोले, ना रै..... मेरी नज़र में तो दरोगा ही बडा हैं पेशकार (वकील):- बोले वो कैसे ? बुजुर्ग - इस जज ने मुकदमा खत्म करण मे "दस साल" लगा दिये जबकि "दरोगा जी" शुरू में ही कहा था "पांच हजार रुपया दे दयो.....  दो दिन मे मामला रफा दफा कर दूगा।...

While walking with a 5year old son, he picked  something  of the ground and started to put it in his mouth . His mother took the item away from him & asked him not to do that . 'Why' ? He asked . 'Because it's been on the ground ; you don't know where it's been. It's dirty & probably has germs' , she replied . He looked at her with total admiration and asked , 'Mum , how do you know all this stuff ? You are so smart..' Thinking quickly she replied , 'All mums know this stuff. It's on the Mum Test . You have to know it , or they don't let you be a Mum'. They walked along in silence for a few minutes , but he was evidently pondering this new information. 'Oh....I get it' ! he beamed , 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad'. 'Exactly' , she replied with a big smile on her .

Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store in NY :- Don't ever fart here; the smell will stay for ages. We don't have Windows. ########$$######### And tit for tat from Microsoft in their premises.. "Anyone visiting us here can be free to use Windows in case you need to release stale gas from yesterday's half eaten apple." We have been providing open window system to the world since ages.

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.        The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"        The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?        Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."        The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."        The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"        The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."        Guido trembles and signs, &quo